Final Women

Every horror fan has them. The inevitable victims that we just weren't ready to see die. The ones that if we were making the movie, we would have let make it to the final credits. Here are some of mine: Note: I'm inevitably miss a few, so there may be a Part 2 to this list. Note 2: I'm not including animals on this list, because it should go without saying that I NEVER want the animals to die. If I were making the films, all the animal characters would survive. And if I were God, all animals would live forever. Just saying... Note 3: Spoiler Alert. Obviously. Scott (Jeremy Sisto), Wrong Turn Jeremy Sisto's character in Wrong Turn is always the first character who comes to mind when people ask me the "who would you save" question. I don't know why. I'm not even sure if his is the character I feel most strongly about saving. He's just the first that pops into my head. R.I.P. Scott Billy (Jeffrey Landman), Halloween 5 Poo...

When I was a little kid, an older friend of mine, Anna, showed me my first ouija board. (Anna also told me my first ghost story and introduced me to Are You Afraid of the Dark? , so she was a huge influence in shaping my love of horror.) I was immediately fascinated. These days, I don't play with ouija boards. I'm generally a sceptic when it comes to the supernatural, but I still believe that there are some things in life you just don't fuck with. (I also refuse to say Bloody Mary in the mirror or eat the grocery store's discount sushi). However, ouija boards and the supernatural in general still fascinate me (obviously), which is why I was willing to give Ouija a chance, despite its universally bad reviews. So was it as bad as everyone said? Well, sort of. It wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen, but I wouldn't exactly recommend it either. It's a competently directed film marred by a dull script. The acting is generally decent. Leads Olivia Cook...

It's another sad day for the horror community. We've lost Sid Haig, the star of Spider Bab y, House of 1000 Corpses , the newly released 3 From Hell , and many more great films. R.I.P. Sid. You will be missed. <3 Captain Spaulding

Kylie is caught robbing an ATM and gets sentenced to house arrest at the home of her estranged mother and stepfather. Her mother thinks the house is haunted. Kylie initially disagrees, but when strange things start happening, she begins to wonder if her mom is right. That's all I'm going to tell you. I don't want to give you too much information about this one, because part of the fun is figuring out all the twists and turns along with the characters. However, I will tell you that Housebound rocks, and you should stop what you're doing right now and go watch it. I loved this movie so much that even though I rented it, I turned around as soon as it was over and bought myself a copy. I love this movie so much that, if it was a person, I'd let it go all the way on the first date. I wish this movie was a person so that I could elope with it and spend the rest of my life with it and grow old with it. Seriously, why are you still reading this? Go watch this movie. NOW....

Ten years ago, in Rue Morgue's September 2009 issue, I saw an add for a movie called The Seamstress . The blurb describing it made it seem interesting, and I liked the cover artwork (shown below). So last night, after ten years, I finally got around to watching it. It was not everything I had imagined it would be. The plot revolves around Allie (Kailin See) who, along with five of her friends, goes looking for her missing father on an island off the coast of her hometown, a town which was previously the site of a series of child murders blamed on "The Seamstress." These murders were never solved, although a local school teacher was blamed, leading to her murder at the the hand of a vigilante mob. She placed a curse on the mob and the real culprit before she was killed, and now her restless spirit haunts the island, murdering trespassers. The Seamstress is not a completely incompetent film necessarily, but it has a lot of flaws. The pacing is off. The story is wea...

"The best thing about horror anthologies is that each story is short, so if you get bored, fed up, or mildly suicidal, just remember it'll be over soon." - Last Chance Lance, Rue Morgue magazine The above quote perfectly applies to Monsterland , a diverse horror anthology, produced by Dread Central . One of this anthology's best assets is the brevity of many of the shorts. Monsterland is as uneven as any anthology, but at least the shorts that don't work end before they have a chance to sour the overall taste of the film. As for the best segments, the first one up is The Grey Matter. Starring Ebon Moss-Bachrach ( Girls , The Punisher ) as a working stiff who finds his life changed after his brain is invaded by a charismatic parasite who helps him land a date with his dream girl. This one is funny, gross, and, dare I say it, charming. It's one of the longest segments, at almost 20 minutes, but it's also probably my favorite. Other standouts include...